Ellen Mogensen of HealPastLives.com shares another in a series of three karmic parenting articles.
Karmic Insight: Parenting-Programming
Dear Soul Friend,
Do you feel like your kids are just ignoring you? Have you inadvertently programmed them to do so?
When parents are being ignored by their children, it is because the children know there will be no consequences for doing so.
* Empty Threats: If you are always making empty threats like “I am going
to hang you by your toes unless you do…”, “I am going to shoot you in the
head until you stop…”, or “I am going to boil you in oil if you…”, no one
is ever going to take you seriously. If you are saying things like this,
you are scaring your kids and you are programming them to ignore you.
This ends up frustrating you both as you get ignored because your child
cannot afford to take you seriously.
* Pointless Yelling: If you are always yelling at your child for each and
every thing they do, you are programming them to ignore you. When you are
treating everything they do as important, they end up learning that
nothing is important… and that you yelling at them is pointless. Those
parents who can communicate to their children in a calm and firm manner -
without raising their voice at all – the specific key point they need to
make – succeed better.
* Total Unfairness/Illogic: If you are always disciplining your children
for things that seem unfair or illogical to them, you are programming them
to ignore you. For example, if one child thinks/believes/perceives -
rightly or wrongly – that you are treating their sibling better, this
“unfairness” will cause them to ignore you. Similarly, if any child
thinks/believes/perceives – rightly or wrongly – that you are being
unreasonable about a rule or a punishment or that your explanation of why
they are being punished is bogus, this “illogic” will cause them to ignore
* No Follow Through: If you are always telling your children that if they
do “X” that this will result in “Y” consequence… but you do not ever
follow through with “Y” consequence… you are programming them to ignore
you. Unfortunately, children learn best from experiencing the
consequences of their actions. When actions have no consequences or
costs, there can be no learning or behavior change… this is true for both
children and adults.
Now that is “good” karma! For more, see
Inspire others by sharing your karmic successes in Ellen’s Guestbook!
Wishing us all the best possible karma,
Ellen Mogensen of HealPastLives.com