Am I Easy?!?

by Coach Cora

 

“So I heard some of the football guys talking and they said you’re easy.”

My heart fell into my stomach. I was completely mortified.

I was an 18 year old virgin from small-town Kansas, and attempting to make my way through an intimidating social hierarchy at my new college in Los Angeles.

Upon retrospect, this guy didn’t know what he was talking about and probably just felt I wasn’t interested in him.  Or was HOPING I was easy so he could get “some”.

Yet, none of this matters.

At that moment, I believed him.  I didn’t believe that I was easy.  But I did believe that others saw me that way.

And I did not want that.

Hence, this was my Ego’s black and white solution:

Wearing feminine clothes that fit and look attractive=EASY

Allowing my warm and sometimes flirty nature to come out in conversations with straight men=EASY

Walking with my shoulders held back and my head high=EASY

Womanly Curves=EASY

Sexy=Easy

So I began wearing looser clothing with less shape, dark colors (Nun-esque).  I tried to hide my curious and confident Spirit behind a demure smile and quiet presence.  I attempted to “blend in”.  I started working out as much as possible to straighten out the curves.  Sexy was my enemy.  I was playing very small.

In other words, I stopped being ME.

I let one man’s random comment keep me from experiencing the fullness of who I am, my Wholeness.

This lasted through most of college and then a few years afterwards.

Then, a little over a year ago, I was speaking with a good friend about what I do for a living. I told her all about my Sexy Soul Wellness where I help my clients Love Their Bodies, Own Their Power, and Live Their Dreams.

She looked me straight in the eyes, and said, “So it sounds like you help your clients Own Their Power, but you can’t do that for yourself.”

Ouch.

The Truth Hurts.

And that is when I came Home to my Inner and Outer Sexy in a whole new way.

Not because I wanted to impress anyone, get attention, or win a social contest.  I wanted to “Bring Sexy Back” (Thanks Justin!) FOR ME!!!

My Sexy is part of my Power.  As a woman, this is my Divine Birthright.

I began holding my head higher when walking down the street and making eye contact with others passing by. Sometimes I would even smile when I felt so moved.  I started dressing in clothes that felt good, bright colors, and fabrics that hugged my curves.  I decided to take dance classes and yoga and get to know this beautiful body of mine.

I felt a fire growing inside my Core.  It had always been there, this Divine Spark.  Yet, now I could FEEL it.

Some might say I look easy.

Some might say I look snotty.

Some might say I look fake.

Some might say I look aloof.

But me and my Sexy, we FEEL fabulous!

And Whole, and in our Power.

And most importantly,  I feel like ME!

 

From the Archives (originally published as a Guest Blog on http://www.michelleperrone.com/...in honor of my Interview with The Family Balancing Act about Claiming our Sexy.  Listen in on Tuesday the 14th at 3pmEST!  http://thefamilybalancingact.com/  

Also, for a FREE 30 Minute Life and Wellness Breakthrough Session with Coach Cora, reserve a time here:  

Pic from: http://www.freedigitalphotos.net/images/view_photog.php?photogid=1464

 

Synchronicity: You Have the Amazing Ability to Create Coincidence

Synchronicity

By Dr. Kirby Surprise

Rethinking Synchronicity:

You Have the Amazing Ability to Create Coincidence Synchronistic events (SE) are those uncanny coincidences in which the environment seems to be speaking directly to us through events. In my work as a psychologist, I have clients who report radio and television broadcasts, random events of all sorts, comment on what they are thinking as if something was reading their minds. Psychologists call this experience “Thought of Reference.” Events seem to reference the thoughts of the client. Many clients with psychotic disorders experience thoughts of reference. But what if they were not reporting a symptom of mental illness, but an experience everyone has in some form? What if televisions really do seem to comment on what we are thinking?

There is a measure of self‐awareness called “The Mirror Test” developed by biopsychologist Gordon Gallup. Animals are shown their own reflection in a mirror. If they recognize the reflection in the glass as their own, it is taken as an indication it is a self‐aware being. Humans, some great apes, elephants, and dolphins generally recognize their own reflections; a few birds do as well. Interestingly, some birds and dogs that can’t initially recognize their own reflections can be trained to do so. Synchronicity is a form of mirror test. People see in the mirror of events around them the image of their own inner life. They see what they think, feel and believe. They even see their fantasies about what causes these reflections. For some clients who report thoughts of reference, it is the stories they tell themselves about the causes of the SE, not the SE themselves, that label 2 them as symptomatic.

Everyone has experienced meaningful coincidences. They are explained by supernatural and religious beliefs, archetypal influences, or more exotic personal mythologies. SE mirrors these beliefs back to the observer. SE sometimes become mistaken for confirmations of the objective reality of personal beliefs. Most people are looking into the mirror of SE every day. They don’t realize the images they see are their

own thoughts. You have an amazing ability. Your thoughts and feelings, your memories and experiences, are reproduced in the events around you as coincidences. The world shapes itself around your thoughts, presenting you with meaningful coincidences based on your inner life. Everyone creates their own SE, constantly. The ability is innate to the way our brains process information into meaning. This seemingly magical ability goes largely unnoticed, unexplained and misunderstood until it presents itself in spectacular form.

Consider the following SE: “One cool autumn day I was sitting in my car waiting to pick up a friend. I was listening to the radio to pass the time. During a commercial break an ad for the movie ʺCarrieʺ was played. The movie is about a teenager who discovers she has the ability to move objects at a distance. I started having fantasies about what it would actually be like to experience moving an object this way. I had seen the film; during its climax Carrie uses her power to crush her family home. I looked across the street and saw an old cottage. Focusing on the house, I fantasized about what being able to move an object that large would be like. I was remembering a National Inquirer headline about a house that supposedly was turned over on its side by some psychic force. I was wondering what effect such a power would have on a person, how it might feel to move a house.

As I stared at the house the entire cottage shuddered violently. The house started to move. It rolled over onto its side. The roof was now facing me. I was astonished and felt panicky. I stared at the overturned house and asked ʺCould I have really done this?ʺ ʺNoʺ, I answered. I wondered if this was just a vivid dream. I decided I was awake and the event was real. “OK” I said to myself. “If I just did that, then I want to see the house crushed like in the movie.” As I stared awestruck the house again began to shudder. The roof started to collapse inward as if the center of the house were slowly imploding. Beams burst through walls, windows shattered, as the house began to tear itself apart. A moment later I saw a flash of yellow paint above the house, then the largest bulldozer Iʹd ever seen climbed lazily over the center of the house crushing the structure into rubble in a few moments. It then started to load the debris into waiting dump trucks. The house had obscured the demolition equipment from sight. With the radio on and windows up, I couldnʹt hear the tractor engine. My fantasy had come to pass, my wish fulfilled through a series of synchronistic events.ʺ

SE defies the way we usually think about cause and effect. In the SE of the moving house there was a connection between the observer and the event, but finding the cause seems impossible. The house moved, but there was no physical force exerted by the observer. Radio commercials, memories and patterns of thought and physical events became coordinated, but there was no obvious force doing so. Yet, there is a pattern

evident in the events. The pattern is in the person’s thoughts. People have always reported seeing SE. They are the basis for many superstitions and religious beliefs. The 4 difficulty in finding the cause of SE has always been the mirror effect. Some of my clients seem delusional when they are referred to me. They report SE that tell them God has special and grandiose plans for them. They may believe the government is reading their minds and talking to them through broadcasts on the evening news. I have a version of the mirror test for these clients. I tell them they have the amazing ability to reflect their thoughts and emotions off the environment. If they believe they had been communicating with secret government agencies, I tell them to look for messages from Mickey Mouse. If they believe they were in communication with God, I tell them to talk to Bugs Bunny. The SE often responds in the pattern the clients look for. If they stop believing what they think is real, just because the world reflects their thought back to them, they are no longer delusional.

The evidence for SE being created by our thought is fairly strong. In science the best experiments are done with the “Double Blind” method. Neither the experimenter, nor the subjects, know what the expected outcome of the experiment is. This is because the act of observing an experiment changes the outcome. Just expecting to find a significant result, will alter what happens in the direction the researcher is looking for. Although the causes of this phenomenon remain a mystery, it must be accounted for in any good experiential design.

Most explanations for synchronicity have done more harm than good. Carl Jung, who created the term, speculated that SE were created by patterns he called archetypes. These universal patterns of creation existed somewhere outside of time and space, and caused events to cluster around them in patterns. He did the world a great service in acknowledging that SE were real, not just disturbed minds misinterpreting reality. But, 5 he placed the cause of SE in imaginary archetypes, not in the people who actually create and observe them. In Jung’s writings he describes several series of SE that he ascribes to archetypes he was formulating at the time. He seems to miss the fact that he created these thought forms, and that SE always reflected his thoughts. When people look for SE based on one of Jung’s archetypes, they find them, because their thoughts create them.

Many SE can be explained by the way the brain processes information. The human evolutionary niche is to excel at matching and remembering patterns. Each moment our senses present the brain with billions of bits of information that it must organize into patterns. The brain deletes most information before it reaches consciousness, and often substantially alters our sensory information, filling in gaps and highlighting patterns it believes are important. As a result of this process we all live in a highly modified

representation of the world. Our reality is literally a massively simplified construction of the patterns our brain thinks most important at any given moment. Finding meaning between patterns, between events, is what we do best.

For SE, there are no physical limitations. Rolling over a house is no more of a coincidence than rolling over a pair of dice. Our mirror test is the entire universe, and it reflects the meanings your mind creates. SE will appear to be caused by whatever the observer believes causes them. Looking for SE consciously, knowing SE are a mirror of your thoughts, reveals your astonishing ability to shape your experience of the universe according to the thoughts you choose.

Dr. Kirby Surprise is the author of “Synchronicity”, published by New Page and due out December 15, 2011. ISBN: 978‐1‐60163‐183‐1 List Price: US $16.99, Canada $18.95

Coffee: Drink up AND Scrub Cellulite Away!

Cup of joe in the morning, latte in the afternoon and an invigorating, aromatic coffee scrub after that!  Never had had one, actually never even heard of it before, but the description sounded like the miracle I’ve been looking for…all my life.

Invigorating Experiential Coffee Scrub ~  Deep nourishing experience as it exfoliates and cleanses away dead skin cells.  Clinically proven to provide powerful antioxidant and tightening benefits for the skin.  This scrub will stimulate circulation, and will scrub away cellulite. 

Yes, you read that correctly, “scrub away cellulite“!

Actually, they had me at “tightening benefits”.

Sign me up, right NOW!

Costa Rico, what a beautiful amazing place, where the coffee flows as freely as it’s many water falls. I am so grateful to have been able visit paradise, but also to immerse myself in, what else?  Coffee, organic, good for you, once in a while, coffee.

Imagine if you will:  It’s aroma filling the air you breath…ah… You’ve just made a pot of coffee.  Pour the coffee into your mug, its warm, wonderful, heaven on earth aroma fills your being.  Deep breath. You sip it, feeling comforted, loved and ready to take on the day.  Now taking the filter out of the coffee maker, the wet coffee grinds are on your finger tips,  you take a another nice deep breath, taking in again the aroma as you toss the the filter toward the garbage pail, you miss it.  The coffee grinds spill all over the floor.  You gather up the wet coffee grinds, scooping them up, go ahead….just slap some on yourself and scrub away.

My “Invigorating Experiential Coffee Scrub” was indeed like a massage, but with coffee grinds rubbed into my body, that felt a little like gravel.  My masseuse worked especially hard on my thighs, butt and upper arms, the more evident parts of my body that needed tightening.  I then showered, went back to the massage table for a light massage.  That was it?  $100 later and that was it.

The result:  I felt refreshed, and even energized, oh wait, that was the caffeine kicking in.  My skin felt a little tighter, but the cellulite was still there.

So, I did some research on the wonders of a coffee ground scrub and found that coffee does indeed break down cellulite, but you need to use it daily.  Coffee helps to redistribute fat cells, thereby reducing cellulite, but also another added benefit of a coffee scrub is it helps to reduce varicose veins.  Caffeine shrinks blood vessels, helping to contract varicose veins, by shrinking them away and helping to prevent more from showing up.

DIY:  Have a cup of coffee, wipe out cellulite, varicose veins and feel energized all for the price of a cup of joe, I say let’s do it!!!!!! (!!= caffeine)

Here’s how:

1.  1/4 C or more ground coffee (Caffeine)

2.  1 Tbsp olive oil or coconut oil

Optional add ons:   1 Tbsp sugar and sea salt.  1 tsp honey.  Warming spices:  Ginger for circulation; Cinnamon for reducing inflammation.  Essential oils, such as lavender, frankincense, or another of your favorites, creating a scent that works for you and gaining even more health benefits.

Your skin should be moist before applying the scrub.  Rub in a circular motion on the “problem areas”.  Give yourself a good 5 minutes of this. 1 minute or more per area. Rinse well.

My personal result after four days:  It is making a difference, but the jury is still out (my full length mirror, not my husband).  I will keep you posted.

Try it and let me know if it works for you.   My and Cynthia’s progress will be reported on our radio show, The Family Balancing Act.

Take a deep breath, smell the coffee and know that you’re not alone.

Sources:  livestrong, Spa Magazine

Not Your Life? Tell a different story

Feeling out of balance?  Loss of control? Too much crap going on in your life? Are people, things, stuff, stopping you from “living” your life? 

News flash!

You are living your life!  Everything that you have been thinking, eating, doing and engaging in has put you right where you asked to be, whether or not you care to acknowledge that. You are all that you absorb, body, mind and spirit.  Everything.

You created it.

All of it.

Like the Rolling Stones tune, you can’t always get what you want, but you get what you need.

Lack of balance and control is in the contrast we create.  It’s the opposite of what we want and it continues to show up until we do or don’t take action.  You can choose to change your ways,your thinking, your process or you can stay in the place of what makes you miserable, churning away in the despair of lack (of balance and control).

Want is the contrast to where you want to be is showing up for you right now? Don’t like it, tell a different story.

Start by acknowledging where you are right now, be grateful, because it has brought to you the awareness of what you do want.   Thank it for showing you the contrast to what you want and move on. Easier said than done, but it’s the starting point.  We all need to start here, in order to move forward in any area of our lives.  If you don’t believe it, try it on your kids.  You’ll be amazed at how easily they can create what they want by changing their story. Kids do it all the time, then as we age, we forget.  We get practical.

I tell my clients to write!!  Write affirmations, journal, scribble down your thoughts, dreams, hopes, wishes and yes, the crap too. Face yourself, but move on. What do you want your new story to be? How do you want it to be different?  How does where you are now make you feel?  How does what you want make you feel?  Surround it with lots of love, energy and feel it actually happening.  You can CHOOSE to make it happen, but If you don’t feel it,  it won’t happen, because you didn’t change your story.

Take a deep breath AND know that you’re not alone!  Believe it, see it, feel it.